As much as I fight to keep my mini-green giant at bay, he sometimes rears his ugly head. Most of the time I can be pretty zen when it comes that feeling of “ugh…how did they doooo that? why not meee?” because I know that envy feeling really only leads to bad things.
But it is human to occasionally feel pangs of jealousy. When I read the interview with the actors Jesse Eisenberg and Zoe Kazan in the NY Times today about writing plays, I felt a little uh…hmm…I felt crappy. Like somehow, connections really are everything.
It sounded like they just thought “Oh, acting’s been fun. But just for the heck of it, let me just write a play and let’s see what happens!”
Like dude, for a legitimate theater company like the MTC or Cherry Lane to put on your play takes a LONG time. You have to develop a career and relationships in the theater world. You have to take part in development workshops and have readings in your apartment with Trader Joe’s wine and friends who have to brave the G train to get there. But apparently, MTC just gave Zoe Kazan some money, and yay! She wrote a play. And now it’s being produced.
I sound horrible. I’m happy for her. Really. I’m happy that people are talking about playwrights. I’m happy they are talking about theater.
And I genuinely think Zoe Kazan and Jesse Eisenberg are great actors, and they seem like interesting, smart people.
It just seems like so many talented writers I know have been toiling away for so long trying to get their plays produced and I guess…well, I guess that article made it seem very easy – To write a play and have a major off-Broadway theater put it on. And to get money to spend time writing the play.
So, maybe it is not really jealousy after all (or maybe jealousy is a small part). I think it’s that the article made it seem so early. That if you write a play, it just goes up. Like poof!
But it’s never really poof! is it? But then again, if it were poof!, would it really feel as good when the big chance actually comes – and your play is up at a big theater?
Maybe one day I will find out.